what will happen to a face in the crowd, when it finally gets too crowded?

Oh, the lack of updates. how will I live with the guilt!
I've had to put up with a crapload of dumb people, well actually no, peculiarly one person, but seriously, I'm not in the mood for attention-seeking, I have a feeling this weekend is going to be a tad gloomy.
I'm annoyed, tired, & not in the mood to put up with anyone's crap this week.
I first get this aspect of a total creep, thahks to people and their big mouths. then, I have a load of homework I really don't want to do, and I have the pressure of the film for the festival this week.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm so excited, but I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. and most certainly, will be waking up on the wrong side of the bed the rest of this week.
On top of that, I'm feeling extremely guilty making plans every weekend and having my mother spare me 20 or 30 dollars knowing she's unemployed. trust me, it kills me inside, okay seriously, now I feel guilty for writing this.
Moving on to something else.
I'm trying to do so many things to take my mind off of that certain...someone. Really though, it sucks when everything start to become almost perfect, and completely crushes down.

I miss your gaze averted towards my silhouette.
xo love.

Blogging is so addicting.

Really, though. It's like, as of 2 days ago, I have to blog before I go to bed. If I don't, I feel like I'm missing an arm or a leg. isn't that odd? I used to be that way during the whole LiveJournal era, but that definitely died down ever since MySpace skyrocketed.

But of course, I'm not here to talk about websites. Today is my "let's talk about how much crushes suck." really, though. I hate when I start gaining attraction for someone. that weird feeling when the person passes by you, I absolutely despise that feeling. I try to avoid it. but the more I see this certain character the worse the feeling gets. really, I think that's the hardest feeling to avoid. and what really agitates me is as much as I don't want to see this person, how much I want to get over this person, (you know, you try not to see him or her because you believe that the less you see them your feelings will start to decrease) but then, I feel like if I don't see him, I can't really normally till the next morning where I'll hope to see him. Weird, right ? that's why I hate crushing on men. that's why I've always preferred to be single. I mean, I've been single for 16 years, and look, I'm great!

I think I'm out for the night. I just wanted to let a little bit of steam off.

goodnight earth.

Stupidity is without anxiety.

I am annoyed with humans. sometimes I wish I could convert myself into another type of mammal.

Being an animal seems way too easy.

I even get annoyed with my own self sometimes. It's normal, though. happens to everyone.
Certain people get on my nerves sometimes, like this one ... human, for example, that I'd rather not mention ITS name. because it IS the Internet...only God knows what could happen.

Anywho,
if I ever have an away message up regarding someone else, or something that I'M doing, "it" loves to ask what it is , who is this certain person I'm ascerting, etc.
Is it really it's business to be asking these questions that obviously have nothing to do with "it" since it's definitely not regarding towards "IT" , and of course doesn't have ITS name written all over it?
I probably sound like the most annoying, ranting, human being ever but there's certain things I can't contain in me that I'd rather just blog about .
Oh ANOTHER thing , am I the only person that despises group projects?
I was just assigned a project for History on "1920's slang" (mind you, this project was assigned about ... 2 minutes before the bell rung? someone explain this to me.) and of course, I'm always stuck doing basically 75% of the project? thank god one of my partners did the definitions, but the most un-artistic person is stuck doing the drawing that pertain the definitions and I have to do a little booklet that looks like a dictionary.

what the hell is this, 4th grade?
But anyway, it's High School , I guess. well... it's Southwest. that makes more sense.
Oh yeah and I always want what I can't have. isn't that splendid? happens to the best of us. HA.
I'm out, to finish this damn project that's going to take me a good 3 hours since I obviously CAN NOT draw.

Oh, P.S thought I should so share this with you:

Drew is my hero really.

dear gravity, you've held me down in this starlit city.

Never in my life have I felt so incredibly inadequate.
I always try to fulfill the promises I make towards myself but I have one big problem, and that's laziness.
I'm soo inclined towards everything, I've lost interest in so many different things that it's upsetting me.
So from now one I've made a promise towards myself and my actions :
Everytime I say I'm going to do something, I'M GOING TO DO IT.
I'm really sick of saying I'm going to do something repeatedly, and I don't do it, only to regret it later.
I have also come to realize that whenever you want certain things in life, it's always going to end up being what you're never going to have, as much as it hurts.
So I guess it's time to let go, as the oh so spectacular Frou-Frou once said, and move on.
So all I'm going to do is keep listening to Bob Dylan repeatedly and snack on carrots. Yum, delish.