This is the storm before the calm.

I really thought we were through.
I mean, as time progressed, you moved on, I moved on. we were done with our friendship.
yet you still continue to bother me? to pick on me?
Do you miss me? is that what it is? because I think it's almost clear that you want to rekindle the old friendship flame we had going on.
you have a life, and I have mine. really...live it. why include someone you don't care about in it? why worry about what I do? why even bother ?
there are so many questions I'm willing to ask you...but we'd be here for a while. I just don't get the point. If you want to look like the bigger person, if you want to really make me look like shit - stop attempting to make me feel bad, or make me cry, or whatever the case may be. because really, all you're doing is making YOURSELF look like an asshole. last time I checked, you had the balls here. I'm merely convinced.
I think I might be the one here with the guts to ignore every single comment you say.
It's been almost 2 years. I think I've had enough. and I don't think I can stand to bite my tongue any longer.
I know you'll never read this, and I can give 3 shits if you do. but really, this is just a way to express what I feel because no one can keep feelings like this cooped up for so long.
you need to STOP. and not because I care what you say, but because I'm getting 2nd hand embarrassment over here from you.
There's been times where I've missed our friendship - you can even admit, we had some funny times. we're both Pisces; our friendships click.
But every time I see you pull a stunt like this, it reminds me why I never cared in the first place.
and as much as I hate seeing people hurt, I'm glad I had the opportunity to hurt you. because really...you hurt me so much, with your comments about my family members, your comments about me, your immaturity made everyone laugh, but it killed me inside.
I hate wishing death upon anyone, and I'm sure you've wished it upon me. But i'm not wishing it upon you - that's just immature. as much as you've prayed for me to die, I'm as healthy, as aware of everything as I can be - so put up with it, because I'm not going ANYWHERE.
since I've found my faith and I know what I want and I'm aware that God is so good, he has wonderful things in store for me. while you, for being so grimey, so useless, repulsive, arrogant, ignorant, disgusting and horrid - again, I'm not wishing death upon you - I just hope that when your death comes, you learn a valuable lesson and rot in hell.
I have never felt so horrible after saying that. but if you can do it, so I can I, right? You're such a...bad person. you know exactly who you are. and I know all these things you say to me are done because everything you've ever done to me is nagging at the back of your head, repeatedly reminding you what a disgraceful, son of a fucking bitch you are.
Sincerely, your BIFFLE,
Lynn.

I love you so much. thank you for being there for me during the best of times and the worst of times. deaths, friendships gone awry, and dare I say it, depression.

you are 3 of the greatest men God has created. and I hope one day, you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror, and realize what 3 outstanding boys you are and how many lives you've made a huge impact on. Even if I never get the chance to meet you, I know I'll live on forever smiling away because I spent day and night dreaming and thinking about how wonderful you guys are, and as the days pass by, you only make my love for you grow stronger and bigger.

you boys never cease to amaze me.

god bless you all, from the bottom of my heart.

<3

It was just a thought I wanted to point out, so here I go.

I find it funny that everyone bashes on a girl who hasn't even done ONE horrible thing to prove to you she's a wretched girl. And I'm directing this towards Selena.

I have never in all my life heard anything horrible about this young lady to have the whole teenage population against her. Whereas, Miley on the other hand, has tons of girls cheering her on. Miley...Miley Miley Miley. the girl who was caught with a load of naked pictures of herself, and still got away with it? Yet Selena has yet ONE picture of herself being a slut? I mean, really? in all honesty, that's ridiculous. The only reason people hate on Sel is because she had a chance at Nick whereas the girls who bash her and bring her down only WISH they did. Yeah, I love Nick, sure. doesn't mean I have to hate every single girl he dates. I LOVE Selena - the girl is younger than me and I look up to both her and Demi more than any other celebrity. What's wrong with Selena? really? because if you find one horrible thing to say about her, there's a post comment button below. convince me that this 16 year old is a horrible person. Oh, because charity work is HORRIBLE , right? Family-oriented? call the cops, the girl can't love her mother!
Really, guys? grow the hell up. The only reason you dislike her is because she's one of the greatest people to hit Disney and is sweet as hell. All because you're accustomed to your usual dose of sluts doesn't mean you have to hate on one that isn't. Maybe if you stop the hate for once you can realize that I'm right. I wish everyone could forget about those girls and get a good dose of Selena. Not only does she give a helping hand but she's such a beautiful girl inside and out. she deserves the fame that Miley has, if not, more.

I love Selena, haters to the left!

because it came to me.

As time passes, I begin to realize how much I've changed. every waking moment I change more and more - and it's all for the better. I'm pretty proud of myself for choosing the correct path, not counting on anyone but myself, and having my faith as my number one priority.
My Mom always told me, ever since I was little girl, not to trust anyone but myself and her. I never payed attention - which lead me to getting extremely hurt.
No one is your best friend - I think everyone should be aware of that. I've gone to and fro on the quest for one but it just DOESN'T happen. your best friend is yourself, and God himself. believe it or not, the man is always there for you. when you're in your room by yourself, crying your eyes out because what one person's words can do to you - think of him. speak to him. in all sincerity, even if it doesn't seem like it, He will respond. and he will do it in a positive way because he doesn't want you sad. He wants all his children happy.
At first I was a bit iffy about my religion - I didn't know what to believe in. I was confused and all I wanted was someone to tell me what's really going on.
No one can do that for you though. but you know what? in all that mess, I realized something - I was getting close to him. in all that research and curiosity I grew such love for him, and now all I think about is him. all I can do is wonder what it's like to be with him. he's saved me from myself and I thank him so much every day.
as much as I don't show it, in the back of my head he's always there. I always think of things, always wonder.
I was in a clinical state of depression (not really...but I put it that way because it was pretty bad) for a long time, and that was pretty recent, I guess you could say. I didn't have anyone - anyone but my Mother herself. but with all the problems everyone is facing I didn't want to dump it all on her. so I stayed to myself, which consisted of weeping myself to sleep and feeling like I didn't even belong here.
that is, until I realized there's one person who was always there for me. I followed him, read his word, and as time progressed, I noticed that I was backing away from all that was evil and focusing on the positivity.
and you know what? Now I'm extremely happy for that - sure, not many people talk to me as much as before. But I don't care. I really don't. because I'm starting to realize that those who have always been there for me, God included, will never leave my side. and that's all I need - a small amount of people that'll never leave my side. because in the end, the only people you need are God and Yourself.
and in my case, Mom included.
Goodnight xoxo

Something I've been wanting to do.

List of unkown things of yours truly:

• I am extremely fond if English Literature. I find so much to it, and although it bores those of my age, I don't care - I'd pass a Gossip Girl book to read something written by James Joyce anyday.
• My life revolves more around the Jonas Brothers than anything else; and the strange part about it? It's made me more independent. do not ask me how it's come about this - because even I can't tell you.
• I get sentimental when I listen to an overly talented musician. i.e. Bob Dylan. play 'Like a Rolling Stone' repeatedly on your music player and tell me you won't shed a tear.
• I've never been in love and don't plan on it anytime soon.
• I cried from afternoon - night when I found out Michael Jackson passed. I even lit him a candle and said my prayers.
• I believe God has something special in store for me. maybe completely irrelevant to anything I might want at the moment, but I know it's something good.
• I can't have my bedroom door open while I sleep - it creeps me out.
• I need to listen to music ALWAYS before I go to sleep. I am a musicholic and damn proud of it.
• I was the only girl in school that during silent reading (I have no idea why, at the age of 17, it is necessary to read silently in every class for 30 minutes) I'd read a Sports Illustrated magazine while everyone read a textbook because they were too irresponsible to bring their reading materials.
• I hate 95% of my school, which explains why I don't hang out with many people. I'm not anti-social ; I just get annoyed easily. therefore, Southwest Miami Senior High can suck a corndog.
• I can guarantee you there is no one, NO ONE, in school or anywhere like me. trust me - even I wonder if I'm really from here.
• I'd pass a water offer over Diet Coke anyday.
• I can't leave my house without my bed being made ; it makes me feel trashy.
• When I'm on the computer, 98% of the time out of 100 is me doing something Jonas Brothers related. the other 2% is taken up by my nerdy doings.
• I don't want to live here. I want to move up North and detach myself from everything associated with a Cuban. as much as I love being Cuban - too much of it gets me dizzy.
• I miss Something Corporate. not too long ago I was at the gym playing Something Corporate's Konstantine on repeat and nearly broke down right there.
• which is why I switched it to Brand New.
• I'm a little paranoid and I hate to admit it. but it seems like I just did.

It's impossible...

to be this gorgeous at 16.


really, honey? because I was sixteen once. and not too long ago, actually. and all the boys that surrounded me that were 16 were nothing, nothing, compared to how fucking beautiful you look.
Keep it up, bb. I want that look on our wedding day.

Love,
Lynn

School has officially come to an end.

Well, technically. I still have a year in the works but, 3 months without dreaded high school is awfully exciting.
I am blogging from my 6th period class. there is no one in here. my teacher left with her younger sister to go pick up some key for her classroom and is bringing us back Dunkin' Donuts.
the door is locked, Quantom of Solace is playing on her wide-screen (yes, WIDE-SCREEN) and I can yell and talk to myself all I want without seeming weird because, hell...I want to.
and I'm alone.
Oh, it just hit me.
So I'm pretty much in a tizzy for this summer. so many concerts to attend, exciting events, etc. really though, it's going to be one hell of a summer.
and I finally don't have to deal with the stress and drama that's also known as my group of friends. I'm kind of relieved that I gave up on them and kind of moved on to bigger and better things, definitely becoming more independent. because in all honesty, who's going to care about you in college?
so why stress it now? It's no big deal. the only thing you're going to give a shit about is what your professors ask you to do and what they'll think of you. no one gives a damn if you talked crap about their best friend or if you said something you werent' supposed to say to her after she told you not to because she's a jerk and you suck dick and blahblahblah345646YEIOJ NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.
So yeah, one more year that I'm pretty positive I can handle, and I'm out of this baby! yeehaw!
alright, I'm gonna finish up Quantum of Solace for the 45689345 time, L8er sk8erz~